Put a Ring on It! How to Get Him to Propose When You're Ready (Or Her!)

Are you in a happy, healthy relationship and dreaming of wedding bells? Well, you’re not alone.

There are about 2.5 million weddings every year in the United States. Read on about how to get him to propose (or her) if you want to be one of them!

1. Sending Signals

No matter how long you’ve been together, everyone considering proposing to their partner experiences some form of fear of rejection.

Find ways to let your partner know that you wouldn’t reject a marriage proposal.

Even offering comforting affirmations can help your partner feel more comfortable with the idea of proposing. Try saying things like:

“I love being around you”
“I always look forward to our ‘us time'”
“You make me so happy”
“I feel like the best version of myself when we’re together”
“You’re the kind of person that helps me be better”
“I love our life together”
“This is what I always dreamed my future partnership would feel like”

Giving them positive affirmations will help them feel confident that you’re feeling the same things they are.

2. How to Get Him to Propose: Share Ring Ideas

We’re not saying you should set him down with your Pinterest ring board.

There are more subtle ways to bring up your engagement rings ideas. “So-and-so just got engaged. Can I show you their ring? I really like this about it.”

Go to the mall and when you pass a ring store, take a moment to peek in and say, “This has always been one of my favorite types of rings.”

You don’t need to stay longer or say much else. Let it be a casual and passing moment.

If your partner engages and asks questions about your preferences, then you can start a more in-depth conversation about marriage.

When it comes time to shop for a ring, you may want your partner to surprise you. Maybe you want to design or pick it yourself (after all, this will be on YOUR hand for the rest of your life). Either way, be communicative about what you want with your partner.

They’ll feel more confident proceeding if they know how to make you happy.

3. Focus Conversations on Marriage, Not the Wedding

While your partner envisions the happiness and bliss of married life, they often skip over the wedding details.

You, on the other hand, might have spent your whole life dreaming of cakes, centerpieces, dresses, etc.

The fine details of the wedding ceremony itself can be stressful for your partner because of time-frame and budget.

Talking too much about your groomsmen tie colors might make them feel anxious and put-off by marriage.

Focus instead on conversations about your life as a married couple. Think of traditions you’d like to start or continue, anniversaries, and a family.

4. DON’T use Ultimatums

Often, the reason your partner hasn’t proposed is that they have questions, fears, anxiety, or different ideas.

Telling your partner that they “need to propose by ‘a certain date’ or else…” doesn’t resolve any of their reservations, it only makes them worse.

If you’re feeling confused and sad about the lack of a proposal, instead of posing an ultimatum, take time every day to focus on (or even write down) the things you love about your relationship.

Focusing on the good instead of what you don’t have will not only strengthen your relationship but help your partner feel your love and appreciation.

Those types of actions are more likely to resolve concerns or subside fears than forcing an ultimatum on your partner.

5. Be Patient

You and your partner will spend the next 50+ years together. Do a few months make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things?

Remember that you’re partner isn’t delaying a proposal because they don’t love you or want to torture you. It’s because they want to do things right and when they feel ready.

Being patient will make the experience better for both of you.

Don’t hesitate to share with your family that you’re “taking things at a pace we’re comfortable and happy with. When we’re both ready and happy, it’ll happen.” That will help prevent any awkward run-ins with Uncle So-and-so about when you’re finally getting hitched.

6. Ask Them Yourself!

Who says you have to wait for your partner to ask you? If you feel ready for marriage and you’ve taken your partner’s feelings into consideration, then pop the question yourself!

This is your life. It isn’t someone else’s. It isn’t a rom-com movie.

If your love and partnership don’t look like someone else’s, IT’S OKAY!

You’re allowed to take matters into your own hands.

7. Just Tell Them You’re Ready!

After all is said and done, the best way to approach the proposal conversation is by being open and honest.

It may seem scary, but at the end of a blunt conversation, you both have a clear idea of each other’s feelings, goals, and dreams.

Try saying something like:

“I hope you know how much I love you. When I think about the rest of my life, it makes sense and feels right that we’re together. I think I’m ready to get married. I want to marry you. Is that something you’ve considered? What are your thoughts?”

Having this conversation can help you strengthen your relationship and create a common goal. You don’t need to be afraid to be honest with your partner.