Remember what it felt like to fall madly in love with your spouse? That dizzying, drunk in love feeling when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? This lovesick, infatuation happens when oxytocin levels escalate just from the warm touch of your partner’s hand.
But as time goes on, the daily grind of parenthood, full-time jobs, and other stresses can dampen that hormonal fire we once felt for each other. Our sex lives tumble further down the to-do list because we are just “too busy.”
Can you live the rest of your married life together knowing you’ll only have sex 66 times a year? Maintaining an active sex life is an important foundation for marriage. Not only does it strengthen your bond, but it keeps your relationship in check.
Ready to take back your sex life? We’ve got 10 steamy sex tips below to help spice up your marriage.
1. Make Date Night a Priority
Being in a long-term relationship sometimes means your needs as a couple gets put on the backburner. But if you think about why you married each other in the first place, then hopefully you’ll remember how to turn up the heat.
So hire the babysitter. Wear the sexy red dress. Make a dinner reservation at that new restaurant you’ve been dying to try.
Having something to look forward to doing with each other prioritizes the relationship and puts the focus back on the two of you.
2. Take It Out of The Bedroom
Another way to spice up your marriage and reclaim your sex life is by having sex in a new location. Turn it into a fun game with your partner and see how many places you can have sex besides the predictable bedroom.
Do it in the backyard on a blanket under the stars. Squeeze in a bathroom during a holiday party. Pull the car over into a secluded area, unzip their pants and rock each other’s worlds on your next road trip.
A change of scenery can be a major turn-on.
3. Give Each Other Erotic Massages
Erotic massage is a relaxing and intimate way to reconnect with each other. Not only are you relieving stress and tension, but the sensual nature of the massage can create more powerful orgasms by focusing attention on the erogenous zones.
Strip down and get naked along with your partner, blindfold them, buy some sexy, edible massage oil and let your imagination, and tongue, run wild. Whether you choose to focus on bringing your partner to full orgasmic bliss or just a little tease until they beg you to straddle them, enjoy exploring each other’s bodies.
4. Shake Up Your Habits
When you’ve been chasing a toddler around all day or have been in and out of meetings for eight straight hours, sex can be the last thing on your mind. But even if you’re non-stop busy, challenge yourselves to spice up your marriage by breaking old patterns.
Instead of predictable date night sex at midnight, have a quickie in the shower beforehand. Spend an hour on foreplay instead of rushing through it or skipping it altogether. Call him on your lunch break to let him know you’re thinking sexy thoughts about him.
5. Put in the Effort
Remember how exciting it felt to get ready to see your one and only when you began dating? You shaved your legs. You waxed. You put on some lip gloss and mascara and spritzed your favorite perfume in your hair.
Fast-forward to now, and lounging around watching tv on a Saturday afternoon in comfy sweats is your go-to activity. But it’s hard to get in the mood when you’ve got cheese dip smeared all over your shirt and your partner hasn’t showered in 24 hours.
Change it up by refreshing your habits and you’ll feel re-energized. Take a flirty shower together. Put on those high heels next time you go out for drinks. Wear his favorite perfume to let him know you’re in the mood.
6. Naughty Texting
Creating sexual tension throughout the day with a few naughty texts can do wonders for your sex life. Whether you’re telling him what you plan to do to him once you get home or what you need him to do to you, sexting can be a playful form of foreplay.
If you’re feeling comfortable enough to send a peekaboo photo, go for it. Or if you want to skip the visuals, telling your partner you’re not wearing any panties can also be a huge turn-on.
7. Sizzle in Some New Lingerie
Some of us need visual stimulation to get our heart rates up in the bedroom. Wearing new lingerie can help amp up your sex life and boost your self-confidence.
If you’re used to playing it safe with a negligee, try something new like crotchless underwear or a sheer mesh bodysuit with cutouts. Have some fun with a new look every night of the week.
8. Role Play
Do you have a sexual fantasy you’ve always wanted to act out? Maybe your partner has been dying to tell you he wants to try bondage with you but wasn’t sure if you’d like it. If you haven’t already, it’s time to have a conversation about your deepest fantasies and fetishes.
If you’re concerned you’ll sound weird or feel insecure about what turns you on, liberate yourself from worrying. Learning what turns both of you on can open up a whole new world of exploratory sex play instead.
9. Spice Up Your Marriage with Sex Toys
Using sex toys can add another steamy layer to your love life. On date night, take your partner to a sex toy shop and pick out something naughty together. Or if you’d rather visit an online shop in the privacy of your own home, the Madame Claude Adult Boutique is a great place to start.
Start off low-key with some sexy dice or fur-lined handcuffs. Or advance to expert level with a remote control his-and-her vibrator.
10. Try New Sexual Positions
Although missionary position is still considered to be one of the most common sexual positions, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck with it. Although a recent study revealed that couples tend to stick with just four basic sex positions, there’s a world of moves out there for you to try.
The ancient Indian Hindu text Kama Sutra is a popular source of inspiration for couples needing variety. With hundreds of positions to choose from, it’s worth looking into. Another way to spice up your marriage is to buy a sexy deck of cards and try something new every night.
Ready to Take Back Your Sex Lives?
Being in a committed relationship is one of the most rewarding feelings imaginable. Make sure you’re giving – and receiving – all the pleasure you can to help keep your marriage strong.
By changing up your old patterns and trying new ways to excite each other, you’ll be well on your way to a lifetime of wedded bliss. When you’re ready for another sexy anniversary, we’ll be here with some fun ideas to help you celebrate in style!