The divorce rate in America paints a dismal picture of marriage. Around 40% to 50% of American marital relationships end in divorce. If you’re currently married and going through problems, then the chances of divorce are pretty high.
However, you and your spouse still have a say in how things end. For this reason, you should consider taking steps to saving your marriage.
There are various ways you can do this on your own and with the assistance of a marriage therapist.
In this article, well uncover some steps you should be taking right now for saving your marriage.
There’s no time to waste, so let’s get right into it!
1. Express Yourself Constructively
There’s nothing wrong with self-expression, but it can make matters worse if you don’t do it in a constructive way. For example, if your expressions come off as complaints rather than an expression of feelings, then it may rub your spouse the wrong way.
For this reason, you should start your sentences off like, “I feel” and “Maybe we should try.” This way, your thoughts are taken in and heard versus spat out and argued against.
It’s important that you do the same – allow your significant other to express themselves and try to be considerate and empathetic.
2. Keep the 3 “A”s Out of Your Marriage
Every marriage has its own issues, but for many, it begins with the three As. The three As include addictions, affairs, and anger. Now, it’s healthy to be angry sometimes, but if you’re easily angered, constantly angry or go overboard when angry, then it becomes unhealthy for everyone involved.
As for addictions, this goes for all – video games, sex, shopping and so on. Obviously, an affair is a no-go. Try to keep yourself out of situations that can put you in the predicament to cheat on your spouse.
If you like to go out, do so with friends that’ll keep you out of trouble versus pushing you right into it.
3. Try Being Tender in Nature
It’s easy to become harsh and cold towards someone that you’re angry with or been around for many years. You grow insensitive in these situations, which can make you the exact opposite of tender.
Take it back to kindergarten if you have to – only speak if you have something nice to say and treat others as you want to be treated. This will keep you from saying and doing things you may regret.
And never use your words as a weapon because these tend to be a double-edged sword. It’s common for couples to say mean things in the heat of the moment just out of spite.
This will only set back your marriage, if not ruin it altogether. Whenever you feel this way, close your mouth and breathe. If after an hour you don’t feel the need to say what you were going to say, then it wasn’t necessary.
And if there’s something you really need to get off your chest in those moments, then you should try and do it with tender loving care.
4. Keep Your Voice Down
As they say – no one listens when people shout and this is absolutely true. When someone is screaming at you, the only thing you’re thinking about is what you’re going to scream back or how to get away. You’re hearing what they’re saying, but you’re not listening.
So this is a counterproductive response, in a disagreement. It’s essential to have a calm and respectful tone whenever you’re speaking with your spouse, especially during an argument.
Try to be rational in all of your disagreements and always speak calmly to avoid inciting more anger and hurt. Accept the fact that you and your spouse will have differences throughout your marriage.
5. Take a Breather Every Now and Then
Being around one another too often will make it easy to get into quarrels. Taking time off from one another is healthy and will give the two of you an opportunity to miss each other.
This can also help when things get a little heated. Rather than sticking around each other and continue fighting, get some space. Go for a walk, stay the night at a friend’s house or sleep in another room.
Do whatever it takes to de-escalate the situation.
6. Feel Free to Forgive and Forget
This is probably one of the most important tips for saving your marriage. If you’re going to hold a grudge against your spouse for every little thing that goes wrong, then you’re setting up your marriage for failure.
It’s also important to forgive and move on when there’s infidelity involved. If you agreed to forgive your spouse for cheating, then don’t hang it over their head. And don’t bring it up at every argument – or ever, for that matter.
Leave the past in the past or it’ll come back to haunt your marriage and take it to the grave (aka divorce).
It can be very hard to get past infidelity, which makes having a counselor a must. You may find online marriage counseling to be helpful in this matter.
7. Remember Why You Fell in Love
It’s easy to forget about all the good moments in your marriage when you’re always focused on the negative. Whenever you feel like calling it quits, think back to why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place.
Remind yourself of this every so often so you don’t lose that feeling. It can help to reignite the flame and keep you in love in the years ahead.
Is Saving Your Marriage Worth It?
If you feel like it is, then it’s time to start making moves towards saving your marriage. With the above tips and with the help of counseling, you can make it work.
All it takes is for the two of you to agree to work on your marriage. You can also find helpful tips at Estilo Tendencies. We are a site dedicated to teaching women how to be happy, beautiful and stylish.
Our articles deal with lifestyle, beauty, style, and health. There are plenty of tips you can use to spruce things up in your life and marriage.