76% of people say they immerse themselves in their work to deal with a breakup. While this can be a good tactic (and one that lands a spot on our list) there are a number of other methods that can ease the sting of a fresh breakup.
Read on to learn more about surviving a breakup and getting back to loving yourself.
Deal with a Breakup by Grieving
Many women take the “tough it out” approach to breakups and jump directly into trying to distract themselves from the feeling of loss. While this may work in the short term, it’s only a matter of time before these feeling come out, and not necessarily in a healthy way.
Before diving into the rest of our tips allow yourself to feel the hurt at this moment. Regardless of how it ended, this person was once important to you, and losing them is still a loss. Allow yourself to cry, yell, spend a couple of days in bed, whatever it is that will allow you to get the emotions out in a healthy way.
Review What Went Wrong
Note we said review, not obsess. This means taking stock of what went wrong in the relationship without torturing yourself or getting too hung up on minor details. Consider this a relationship audit, you’re reviewing what went wrong so you can avoid these mistakes damaging future relationships.
This might mean choosing a partner that doesn’t have certain personality traits or working on some areas of yourself. Whatever it is, take a mental note and move on.
Delete Contacts (or at Least Relabel)
If you’re like most women fresh out of a relationship, the first thing you want to do is contact your ex. You may even convince yourself that it’s just for the sake of closure. It’s not, and it won’t help you any.
If they ended the relationship it will only make you look desperate, try to hold on to a little pride in this process girl! If you ended the relationship, you’ll just be causing more pain for the other person. Either way, you cut it, it’s best to delete phone numbers and unfriend on social media to make a clean break.
As tempting as it may be to hang on to the t-shirt he left around or to keep those pictures of you together, it’s only causing you more harm. It’s time to pull a “men in black” style memory erasing and remove any evidence that the relationship occurred.
If there’s something you really must hold on to add them to a password-protected photo album that only a friend has the password to. And please, try to return his things instead of burning them.
Have a Girls Night
Do you know who is great at getting your mind off your ex? Your girlfriends, but tread lightly here. If you still need some healing time, you might not want a girls night at a club where your friends will be pushing you to drink and hook up.
Go at your own pace, if what you really need is a night of ice cream and sappy movies, tell your girls that. They will be happy to help however they can.
Find a Three-Prong Hobby
Picking up a hobby is a great way to get over a breakup. However, to get the most out of this step you’ll want to go with a “three-prong hobby”, this means a hobby that satisfies your mind, body, and soul.
This could be anything from paddle boarding, to yoga, to healthy cooking classes. The point is to invest time in an activity that helps you grow on all levels.
Plan a Solo Trip
Traveling on your own is a great way to get to know yourself. Not to mention the fact that solo trips are one of the most enjoyable ways to travel. Think about it: you’ll only visit sites you want to see, eat foods you want to eat, and you decide when to go out and when to spend the day in bed with room service.
You also don’t have to coordinate with anyone else’s schedules, so you can take advantage of those “last minute deals” on sites like Groupon.
Start Making Advancements in Your Career
Being in a relationship can make it difficult to really put your heart into advancing your career. But now you don’t have to feel guilty about taking on extra hours at the office or answering emails during dinner.
You have carte blanche to excel in your career, and the extra money that comes out of it doesn’t hurt either. Just be sure to maintain balance with the rest of the important areas in your life.
When was the last time you really hung out with your family? Or maybe you hung out with your family often and your ex made you feel guilty about it? Either way now is the time to head home for some TLC.
There is an exception to this rule, however. If your family adored your ex or you can’t trust them to not bring him up while you’re visiting, you might want to postpone the trip back.
Buy that “thing”
You could never buy a cat because your ex was allergic. Or maybe that duvet you were always eyeing was just a bit too girly for your partner’s taste. Guess what? There’s no one stopping you now.
Buy that item that was always followed with an “I love it but…”, and fully enjoy it. Trust us, you deserve it.
Sometimes the best way to get a little perspective is to see how hard others have it and work to help change it. Whether you’re volunteering at a pet shelter or at a soup kitchen, give some of that extra time to people who really need it.
Chances are by the time you leave, your break up won’t seem like the worst thing in the world.
Take Your Time, You’ll Get Through This
Knowing how to deal with a break up can help ease some of the hurt, however, only time will really get you through it. Use the hours wisely by investing in yourself to become even stronger than you were in your relationship.
We suggest checking out our blog on Healing by Design to create a home atmosphere that will help get you through your break up.