The divorce rate may be dropping, but there are still many women who face divorce every year. If you are one of these women, you’ll want to go in prepared.
By knowing what to expect, the entire process will seem less scary and overwhelming. You will also be able to navigate the process better.
Keep reading to find out the best divorce advice for women.
You Need to Grieve
Even if you are the one to initiate the divorce, you are still experiencing a significant loss. You could have conflicting feelings. You know that divorce is best for everyone involved.
But this doesn’t mean you won’t be sad about it. This is a loss of a relationship and dream you had when you made the oath of marriage.
To fully heal, you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions and process. Let yourself cry it out, and then you can pick yourself up and move forward.
Your Friends Will Change
We’ve all heard the rumors, you get divorced, and your married friends no longer want to see you. This can be tough; you’re already experiencing a relationship loss, losing more just adds salt to the wound.
Consider that sometimes it is best that these people fade from your life. Being around them can remind you of your failed marriage. It can make them feel guilty about being happily married.
You also won’t be able to move on if mutual friend constantly updated you on your ex’s actions. You need a clean break to move on.
It can also be healing to spend time with other women who have had a similar experience of divorce. They understand what you are going through.
Your Ex Isn’t Looking out for You
You need to have a team on your side that is looking out for your best interest. It doesn’t matter how sweet or charming he is to you. At this point, you are two separate parties, and his main concern is himself.
This is why it is so vital that you find a law firm you can trust. They will insist you get everything you are legally entitled to. They also don’t think emotionally, which will save you from your emotional decisions during this time.
Do Not Jump Into Another Relationship
It can be scary to suddenly be on your own and alone after years of marriage. Instead of facing this, many women immediately jump into another relationship. This is a huge mistake.
Jumping into a new relationship will only distract you from the pain and self-reflection that you need to go through. You won’t be emotionally ready to commit to a new person.
Therapy Is Good
Don’t be afraid to speak with a therapist. This neutral third party can help you process your emotions and see your situation from a new perspective.
Therapy is not just for “crazy people”. A therapist can help you work through your pain and not allow you to skirt around it.
Your Lawyer Is Not Your Therapist
While your lawyer can do many things, they are not therapists or marriage counselors. They are there to support you through the legal process. They are not qualified to counsel you and your soon to be ex.
You Need a War Chest
Divorce is expensive, and you will need money to pay for the lawyer and support yourself while you go through the process. Having money saved up can ease your stress if your ex decides to cut off support.
Cut All Financial Connections
It is important that you make a clean financial break from your ex. This means more than just closing your joint checking account and credit cards.
It also means separating all assets. Look through all financial assets and completely remove each other.
If you don’t, you risk having something unexpectedly pop up years down the road. You don’t want your credit to take a hit because your ex of 15 years missed a payment on that timeshare you bought together.
Contain Your Crazy
When people are hurt and emotional, they tend to lash out and act in ways that they would never normally act. Let’s face it; emotions make us do dumb things.
If you are tempted to do something, give yourself a pause before you act. Wait 24 hours or run it by a trusted friend or family member first. If you’re too embarrassed to do this, you probably shouldn’t do it.
Acting out can hurt you in the divorce process and can actually put you in deeper legal trouble. Don’t make things harder on yourself by doing something stupid.
You Don’t Have to Keep the House
The marital home is a symbol of stability for many people. This is a large asset that both of you contributed to. It tends to be the one thing that people fight over the most.
Before you dig in and fight, evaluate if you can honestly afford it. That mortgage payment might be more than what your independent budget can handle.
There is also something to be said for starting anew. So let your ex have the house, and you take a buyout for your portion. You can then put that money towards a new place and start your life fresh.
Follow This Divorce Advice for Women
Getting a divorce is a life-changing experience, and you need to go in prepared. With this divorce advice for women, you’ll be able to handle the entire experience like a pro.
The best thing you can do is create a strong support team around you. They will be able to help you stay calm, prepare your financials, and accept all of the life changes.
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