In the United States, between 40% and 50% of marriages end in divorce. While no couple goes into marriage with divorce as the end goal, many wind up finding themselves there.
Has your marriage been on the rocks as of late? Wondering whether it’s time to call it quits? It just might be.
But before you go and make this huge life decision, you need to give it some serious thought. So, without further ado, here are 7 clear signs your marriage is over.
1. Your Spouse Feels More Like a Roommate Than a Lover
You and your spouse might get along fine. You might cooperate, take care of the kids, go to work, and pay the bills on time. But that doesn’t mean you have a good marriage.
If your relationship is void of romantic feelings, you’re more like roommates than you are lovers. If you’re only in the relationship to maintain the social and legal contract the two of you signed, you’re hardly in a relationship at all.
There’s more to life than just co-existing with another person. If there’s no fun, no romance, and no excitement, it’s not worth the effort. Either seek counseling immediately or consider calling the marriage quits.
2. You Think About a Future Without Your Spouse
If you’re like most human beings, you dream about the days and years yet to come. The question is: what do you dream about? If it’s a life without your spouse, your marriage is probably operating on borrowed time.
A marriage is supposed to last through thick and thin. While you may get angry with your spouse from time to time, you should never become so resentful that you begin writing him or her out of your life.
Once a person has reached this stage, it’s very difficult for him or her to go back. Instead of waiting out the inevitable, you might as well cut the chain now.
3. You’re Spending Substantial Amounts of Money Without Talking to Your Spouse
There are all sorts of things that can contribute to the ending of a marriage. That said, money seems to be one of the most common.
So, if you or your spouse is out spending substantial amounts of money (think hundreds or thousands of dollars) without talking about it with the other, it might be because you’ve stopped caring about what he or she thinks. And if you’ve stopped caring about what he or she thinks, it’s likely because you’ve grown tired with the marriage.
If this habit of big and undiscussed spending continues, resentment is sure to build between you and your spouse. Then, it will be just a matter of time before it all comes crashing down.
4. You Disagree on Having Kids
Another sign that your marriage might be headed for divorce is if the two of you can’t agree on whether you want kids. If one partner desperately wants children and the other desperately doesn’t, there’s little chance of the marriage surviving.
After all, the difference between having kids and not having kids is seismic. So, when one half of the marriage doesn’t get his or her way, he or she will feel cheated, and resentment will build.
5. You’ve Stopped Having Sex
Sex is a vital part of most romantic relationships. When sex stops in a relationship, it’s generally because the relationship has crumbled. Though it’s possible to build a sexless relationship back up again (couple’s therapy is sometimes effective), it’s often the death knell of a marriage.
Note, however, that there are some exceptions to this rule. One exception is if sex has slowed down after the birth of a child. The postpartum period is highly stressful for both mothers and fathers, and can often lead to sexual dry spells, sometimes for as long as 2 years.
Another justifiable reason for a lack of sex is trauma. Whether it be from the death of a loved one, physical injury, or otherwise, trauma can cause a person to lose his or her sex drive. So, while sex may be non-existent at the moment, it could come back sometime soon.
6. You Don’t Care About Fixing Things
Have you and your spouse been fighting as of late? Have you come to the point where you don’t care to resolve the fights? If so, you’re closer to a divorce than you are to preserving your marriage.
While you could try to patch things up through counseling, you might have already checked out of the relationship. If so, there’s little chance of you checking back in. At this point, you’re better off calling this divorce lawyer and discussing your options.
7. You or Your Spouse Refuses Counseling
Things have reached critical mass; You and your spouse are fighting constantly; Nothing ever seems to get resolved. So, now, one of you has suggested going to marriage counseling. The only problem is: the other absolutely refuses.
While we hate to say it, the fact of the matter is that the marriage is probably over. Counseling is generally seen as a last-ditch effort to keep the marriage together. If one partner refuses to participate in it, it means that he or she doesn’t care to put the effort forward.
In other words, at this point, only one partner is trying. When one person is doing 100% of the work in a relationship, it’s hardly a relationship at all. Call it quits and spare yourselves the agony.
Don’t Ignore the Signs Your Marriage is Over
The truth is, when it’s over, it’s over. There’s no use staying in a relationship that’s not working anymore. By ignoring the signs your marriage is over, you delay the inevitable, and create unnecessary pain for everyone involved.
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